this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
