whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
