sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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