how can u be prego again
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
