Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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