He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize