She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
