Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
