Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
