dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize