he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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