Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
