we're blogging at a bar
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
