Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
