I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
