his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize