was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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