Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize