yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
