My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
