i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She tied me up with her honor cords...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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