If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
