come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
