Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
