I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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