my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
