Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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