He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize