did you get engaged???
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
