If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
