she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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