I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
