All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
