nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
