so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
