Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize