Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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