guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
