the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's blow job season.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Pants are for mortals
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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