yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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