Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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