Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
