Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
