i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize