i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
