if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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