so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
