so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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