just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
last night I used snow as a chaser
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize