It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
