How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so let's talk penis.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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