I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
