I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
