Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize