I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize