I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
