Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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