do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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