He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize