If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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