Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
